Need immediate help guys. I am now battling a period of severe depression

[Nymene]

Hi everyone at Animesuki. Nymene here.

I currently need help in console and advise, as I am now under very deep depression.

Just to explain firstly my background story which led me to feel this way, allow me to tell you guys first about me.

I am a brown-skinned Asian from a South Asian country with curly black hair, and I have been watching and reading anime and manga for the past 20 years.

However, due to certain personal developments in my life the past 2 years, things have been getting more stressful, and due to that, I wanted to see more Main Characters in manga and anime, and anime art-related video games that shares the same skin color as me or darker than me.

This is due to the fact that almost all of the fantasy related fictional stories I have been consuming the past 20 years all feature protagonists with light skin looking either like Caucasians or East Asians, so I wanted to enjoy a story with a Brown or Black-skinned MC for once so that I can embody or self-insert as myself as that character better so when the MC does big successes in the story, I can relate to it personally and feel encouraged and cheered up since he shares the same physical characteristics as me.

That's why I wanted to play RPGs, read manga or VNs and watch anime with a Black or Brown protagonist. In terms of heroines I don't mind much about that due to me having positive feelings of attraction to both White and Japanese girls too in real life, so I don't mind the race or skin color of the heroines, only that the MC must be either Brown or Black for me to better self-insert into.

But unfortunately, there are almost no such products like that featuring a protagonist like that in a fictional fantasy world starring as a very heroic figure ( like journeying to save the world or beat up bad guys or something ). Just like White and Japanese teens want to look up to a hero figure that looks like them in fiction, so do Brown and Black peoples too.

I have already experienced many stories with a non-Brown or non-Black protagonist, so now I have stopped watching and reading and playing all products that don't feature a protagonist like that, and that has caused me to feel very down, sad and depressed at being unable to enjoy any kind of story at all with a Black or Brown Heroic MC.

I literally cried so much today at me being unable to produce such a commercial product like that with an MC like that yet.

I have tried writing novels but it didn't get much views and popularity so I'm not the kind of writer for that task, therefore I tried doing digital art to make my own VNs or RPGs with a Black MC, but the problem is I had to draw with a mouse since I don't have enough money to purchase a drawing tablet to make my own manga too in a fast manner.

So, please, Animesuki users, is there any kind of advice you can give so I can solve this task and problem of wanting to make and enjoy a commercial product starring a Black MC in anime-art related stories ?

If anyone can help start their own Kickstarter project to make either a RPG or VN or Manga with a Black MC and diverse heroines( since I prefer interracial interactions/relationships and dislike an all-Black cast just like I would dislike an all-Japanese or all-White non diverse casts ), then it would be very good too.

Because this matter has been causing me so much stress and grief, feeling like a Brown person being discriminated and ignored in those kinds of products like as if those creators have told me that Brown and Black people are not worthy of becoming protagonists as lighter-skinned peoples. So this has worsened my inferiority complex too as I am unable to look up to any MC in hand-drawn entertainment since none of them share my skin color.

Sure, there was Hugo from Suikoden 3, but that was a very old game from more than a decade ago, and it didn't even involve any romance element in it, so I am unable to squeal in joy when or if Hugo makes up with Chris or Lily in that game. There was Bob Makihara and Chiaki from Tenjou Tenge, but that too was an old anime and the plot doesn't revolve around them as MCs, so it's not enough for me.

Can I have my own Brown or Black MC representation, please ? If only I'm a multi-millionaire, I am willing to pay Japanese creators any amount it takes for them to make a new story entertainment product with a protagonist that looks like a Black or Brown person like either Hugo from Suikoden 3 or Helmer from Xenosaga, but with diverse heroines included, with of course a Japanese girl heroine ( since it's made in Japan, duh, so they need their own JP representation too in the form of Heroine characters to better sell to their local JP customers ). By the way, Helmer from Xenosaga is a Black person character but he is just a non-playable side character despite his high-ranking position.

Genshin Impact had Kaeya as a Brown representation, but he is not the Main Character, and his skin color looks only light brown and not dark brown or dark chocolate enough like Hugo or Yoruichi from Bleach, so it doesn't count ( since I'm dark brown IRL ).

Therefore, can anyone help work with me so we can make a commercial product like RPG, Manga or VN featuring a Black MC with White or Japanese main heroine, please ? My target consumer audience are :

1. Black Male African-Americans ( Very stressed-out population there that needs a break by enjoying themselves as heroes in fictional worlds )
2. Male Otaku in Japan ( Some Otakus in Japan already stated that as long as the heroines are cute enough, they don't care if the MC or Snusnu stick role romancing or doing them would be an Orc, Tentacle monster, Black man, Chinese or Korean guy, etc....)
3. Europeans ( They already have a diverse population there especially like in the UK for example, and my product can satisfy them as Mine will have both Black and White representation in the form of MC and Heroines to make them like it )
4. South and Southeast Asians ( Since they're mostly Brown or Black skinned like in South India, therefore they'd relate to a Dark MC. )

Of course, there is a Marvel series movie known as "Black Panther" but I am not interested in Live-Action movies but only in Hand-Drawn Entertainment or CGI-made Entertainment like Manga, Video Games and Anime....besides the cast is not diverse enough, as while I want to see a product made with a Black Protagonist, it needs to be diverse in the other characters too....as interracial friendships and romance is very important, as that is also why I am interested in Sci-Fi movies too, where they'll be featuring aliens as that involves the interracial and cross-cultural interactions I wanted to see in fiction(hand-drawn stuff).

IMHO, interacting with people of different appearances or different ways of thinking is important as that helps build and train your empathy, tolerance, emotional balances and communication levels. Sometimes, objective ways of observing and analysing something would only be possible by input from "the other group/side", which won't be noticed if we interact with only people from our kind. In other words, interracial and intercultural relationships and interactions help both sides to "think outside the box" and "discover new ways of thinking previously not thought of".

Therefore, I want to make my products diverse in characters.

If you can help me make my dream come true in finishing such a work till it becomes a commercial product, can you please give me some tips and advise, please ?

P/S : Since this thread is also for me to express all of my bottled-up feelings, I also want to state here one of my deep and darkest thoughts I have kept in my heart for quite a long time.

That is, I am quite envious and jealous of the Japanese people, as they can easily make entertainment products that would easily gain consumers and fanbase all over the world. That is something people from my country can never be capable of, so I feel very strong feelings of "Ahh....This is so unfair and unequal. Nande temeera no tsukutta mono dake Chuumoku sarete orera ga nani mo ii mon tsukurenai n darou !? Ningen tte minna byoudou janakatta no ka yo-!?"

I don't know about you guys, but I think Japanese creators have taken for granted their massive overseas fanbase and are not thankful or appreciative enough of the fact they could get fans that consumes and buys their works on a global level. People from my country would literally cry in tears if their hand-drawn works could get a huge overseas following and be truly grateful that they would consider more to make it more appealing to their overseas fans by adding new characters that reflects their fanbase' wishes....

Also, I feel there is too much over-representation of Japanese Pop Culture, Japanese characters, Japanese Tech, and JP this JP that in the global stage. It was like, "Final Fantasy this
XenoSaga here, DBZ that, Tales of series there ...." Now, even China is getting a bigger slice of the pie, with "Azur Lane this, Honkai Impact this, Girls Frontline here, Genshin Impact that...." OK,OK, i get it, you East Asians are Creative Pale Gods while we South Asians who can't make any internationally-popular best selling video games and comics are Trashy Brown Shit.... OK, now are we fine with that-!?
The question is , why we South Asians can't be more like them ? Why ? Why ? They have monopolized the electronics and hand-drawn entertainment medium since those mediums are harder to make then Live-Action dramas and films.....so what on earth are they ? How can they be so good at making those forms of art while we can't ?

The problem is since they monopolize such content, the result is no diversity in MCs..... No Black or Brown MCs....

Kokujin ya Kasshoku Jinshu datte Anime no Bishoujo Kyara to Icha Icha shitari Renai shitari shitai ni Kimatteru Darou Ga-! Rikai Shiro Yo Na!　黒人や褐色人種だってアニメの美処女キャラといちゃいちゃしたり恋愛したりしたいに決まってるだろ うがー！理解しろよなー！ Of course Black and Brown People too want to have romance and flirty flirt with Pretty Girl characters in anime and anime-style works ! Can't you understand !? ( Our feelings ? ) We BOUGHT your products too, so we as customers need to have our own Rep, like as if we are customers paying money to be served in a bar by pretty ladies working there as hostesses, so make and draw in your own works some Black characters being loved by a pretty JP anime girl, duh ! Samonakuba, Orera no Kane wo Kaese yo!

Please man, I think people from South and Southeast Asia, Middle East and Africa needs to step up their efforts and drive so we can make our own games and comics with Black and Brown MCs to better feel represented so we can have more MCs to self-insert as in a Heroic Role saving the world from evil so we can feel encouraged and motivated in our real lives, etc....

As for diverse casts, I am sure Europeans and Americans would like to try making Manga with a Black MC and White girl main heroine too or the reverse for a Shoujo Manga featuring a Black Girl FMC with White guy Main Hero....

If only people from either my country or America and Europe with diverse populations make more manga and anime the Japanese-style, at this very moment now, I can already be enjoying entertaining manga and video games works with an MC that shares my skin color and curly hair.... Sigh......

[Nymene]

It is a VERY VERY URGENT NEED for me to want to play a VN or an RPG with a Black MC, so can anyone give me any suggestions on how we can quickly make a commercial product like this ASAP ?

My goal is to play at least one AAA title VN like this with a Black MC before I die, so please don't turn me into a Ghost with an Unfinished Business like Casper.

I want to make it myself if I die without being able to play such a game, in my next life. I feel very strongly about this, so please, can we do something to make this a reality ? I've been longing to see a Black MC in a VN for the past 2-3 years, and I can't wait any more longer. My heart hurts and I'm under deep stress over this.