The brutal and harsh days of my life continue endlessly for me.
The relationship between my aunt and Satoko hasn’t changed. Every night, my aunt yells at Satoko for trivial things. Satoko still cries which further angers my aunt. Hence my aunt’s anger does not subside. And Satoko continues to cry.
…When Satoko finds me, she clutches my shirt and hides behind my back trying to avoid the abusive words of my aunt. She constantly comes to seek my aid.
…Satoko does not open her heart out to anyone except me. …So if I were to abandon her, that would be a very sad thing for her. As her older brother, I must provide her with the love and attention that she was never provided by our mother and fathers.
But it’s everyday. Satoko cries everyday over and over again.
…Yesterday, Satoko came up to me for help as usual. …I patted her head as I always do to say that everything is alright. ….But as I was patting her, a different kind of thought began to well up inside me.
I felt this awful and devilish emotion building up inside me in which I wanted to just grasp her by the head and started banging her against the wall.
No, no no…what am I thinking!!! I mustn’t thing such thoughts…!!
No, I mustn’t think about them, I shouldn’t have realized them in the first place…!
From that day on, ...I had another me inside me. And that other me wants to take over my body and switch places with me.
That other me wants me to start saying words out of my mouth that will indeed hurt Satoko for the rest of her life.
Fuck off. Get off of me. You piss me off, go away..!!
No, no no!! I musn’t, I musn’t, I musn’t!!!!
I fight off me taking over my body. …I suck him down deep into my stomach so me can leave my body. …And I succeeded.
But the other me didn’t stop there. …Me began to always follow me, trying to get back inside of me. …But I’m not going to let such a horrifying me get a hold of my body. And me knows that while I’m constantly watching, me has no chance to do so either.
…So, the other me decided to follow me everywhere behind my back, ….looking for the right moment where I let my guard down to slip inside me once again. When I walk…I hear me’s footsteps. Me follows my every move exactly no matter where I go. When I lie down to go to sleep, me just stares down upon me. …Me is always waiting to take over my body to hurt Satoko….
…It’s getting hot these days. Maybe that’s the reason why my body and soul become weary easily, which leads me to think of such thoughts.
I’m the only remaining blood-relative of Satoko. …So I must protect Satoko from that aunt for the rest of my life… That is my eternal duty…\
The rest of my life? Eternal? Forever? I have to do this until I die…?
If only Satoko...
But I’m her only family she has left…
But that’s a bit too extreme isn’t it…
Besides, it’s that aunt…
And the rest of the villagers…!
It’s almost Watanagashi. The irresponsible villagers are all saying that the curse will once again fall upon Hinamizawa this year as well. And they are all saying that should the curse fall, it would most likely fall against me and Satoko. …Somehow, I can’t shake off the feeling that the villagers are eyeing me with “anticipation.”
I have a gut-feeling that I am going to be killed on the day of Watanagashi.
Of course, it’s just a baseless and biased opinion. Ah, step step, step step. Don’t get inside me… Satoko is my only relative, she my little sister that I have, don’t fill me with such evil-minded things against her… Step step step step, don’t come inside me, don’t come inside me, don’t come inside me, don’t come inside me…!! The footsteps approaches closer and reaches my shoulder…!!!
Satoshi: “Waaaah!! ………oh,….it’s you, Rena….”
Rena: “A….are you alright-kana? ….kana?”
I guess my actions were strange enough that anyone would notice. …Rena had a very concerned look on her face.
…Her name is Ryuguu Rena. She is a recent transfer student who moved to Hinamizawa. Not many kids remember her, but she seems to have lived here in Hinamizawa a long time ago. However, she said that she can’t recall much about this place because she was too little. As I was a student whose closest peer was Mion, I was very glad to gain another friend close to my age. She usually enjoys playing with Mion, but she often shows a feminine side as well.
Rena: “Do you feel sick…? I think you should take a rest at the nurse’s office-kana. ….kana.”
Satoshi: “Thanks. No, I’m fine. …Did I look that sick to you?”
Rena: “Yes.”
She responded immediately, which affirmed that I really wasn’t myself just a minute ago.
Rena: “……Was Satoko-chan on your mind...?”
Satoshi: “Oh….no, it’s nothing like that…”
She instantly realized that the cause of my sickness was not from an illness, but from psychological stress… This is just my observation, but I think Rena’s actually very slick in noticing things despite her nonchalant attitude…
Rena: “…Although Rena may not know a lot of things because I’m a transfer student…you can always count on me to be there to listen to you. …I’m sure that having someone to listen would alleviate things off your back.”
Although not much has past since she transferred to our school, she seemed to have quickly grasped the atmosphere surrounding between us and the village.
But even if did I tell her about my problems, nothing would come out of it. …Or perhaps, what I am really afraid of is that by that talking to her about my problems might make me acknowledge my own weakness….which can open the door to letting the other me back inside…
Rena: “When I called your name right now, you jumped in great surprise, right? So that’s why I thought that you had a very big and…harsh subject on your mind… Hau…”
Satoshi: “Oh, well….ahahaha. Well actually, …I’ve been having this weird feeling that someone is following me all the time. You know, ‘tap tap, step step.’ …So I you with those footsteps…. …oh forget it. Ahahaha. I don’t know what I’m saying either.”
Rena: “……..footsteps? ….Are they following you…?”
Satoshi: “……huh?”
Rena: “…..I…..know about those footsteps too.”