Quote:
Originally Posted by stray
Your stance seems fluid but I digress; there's two major problems with suggestion threads: people who give suggestions for self satisfaction and to basically push their favorite series and people who ask for recommendations expecting someone can read their fucking mind. If someone asks for recommendations and isn't willing to engage on what they like and dislike its hard to give them anything other than the most basic of suggestions, and mindless politeness with no follow up just feeds the self satisfaction types.
Suggestions would work better IMO if more people did what the OP claims he did and said straight up "this character is too OP" in response to a suggestion that didn't work for him but so far you've been more concerned with the recommender's sense of self satisfaction and ability to argue for their recommendation or something when IMO they should just give a fucking better recommendation, especially now that they should have a clearer picture of what the person asking wants. Maybe I'm misinterpreting something but I still think its overall bad advice to put politeness over engagement.
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Trust me, my stance has never been near as fluid as you see it. More like you interpret it in a certain way, and when I try to be a bit clearer you claim I'm changing my mind. If my stance seems softer, it's because I've changed my initial assumptions. As I said before, the author's initial portrayal, along with the way the thread was titled, led me to believe that the author had responded in a way that could be seen as angry or confrontational, but if they weren't confrontational then obviously that's another matter.
And again, saying straight up "this thing you said isn't OP is OP" would be confrontational in some eyes. You seem to be conflating a desire to reduce conflict with a desire to make one side or another the "bad guy". I'm not saying you should make the posters feel some kind of "self-satisfaction" for posting a recommendation that doesn't fit your wishes, just that you stand less likelihood of getting attacked or downvoted if you're a bit more cautious to avoid words that might make them feel like they are being attacked. Avoiding conflict doesn't mean you think they deserve to feel proud of their suggestion, and honestly I don't see how someone would feel any pride in a suggestion that the poster says doesn't really fit. It just means you don't want to deal with even more unreasonable reactions.
But then, there are some for whom no manner of care will have any effect, who will always look for some way to make some individuals out as hypocrites, stupid or just plain bad people, like they can't bear to interpret a statement as in any way acceptable. In those cases, there is no winning and you should probably just leave. Of course, these conversations last so long with me because "just leaving" is something I'm VERY bad at.