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Sodachi was basically only holding herself together, because she didn't know enough about happiness to know she was suppose to be unhappy.
Every time she experienced what happiness is, she gets reminded of how miserable the rest of her childhood was.
Most people "should" desire being happy tomorrow more than they are yesterday. But Sodachi's issue is she lives entirely in the past. She talks about her family as if they are still around, as if they are still ruling her life. She is technically more free and independent now than she ever was able to be in the past, but she spends her life looking backwards.
To her, she seemed refuse to acknowledge there is such a thing as "the future".
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