Quote:
Originally Posted by Quzor
Oh yes, it's confidential for the time being. As a mini-spoiler, I'll just say that some of what was said in the first chapter will turn out to be false later. I don't know how many chapters this is going to take, but hopefully I'll be able to reveal it without taking too long, while still keeping it suspenseful.
As for your new chapter: It was an interesting idea, but I thought it was kind of...well...slow. I didn't quite understand why Zaku would say he started the fight when he didn't, or why he thought he would get in more trouble if he didn't say he did. I also wasn't a particular fan of squad 15 getting 30 days punishment, compared to 15 for the others; it seemed to me like all involved parties should have received equal punishment (there goes my socialist mind again), but maybe that's just me. I did like the end, though (I won't spoil it here). All in all, I guess it wasn't too bad. I would have liked to see more happen, but intense action can't occur in every chapter, lest it become boring (like my stories  ). |
What I was thinking about Zaku was that he was afraid to argue with Hokoro and go back and forth with Hokoro saying the other one started it, acting like little kids, that would probably make the Hokage mad, and if you get a kind of idea of Hokoro's personality he's not going to admit it was him. So I had the feeling that Zaku thought if they did that that and didn't just say it, he would get his whole team in bigger trouble; don't worry though, if you notice I dropped a couple hints that the Hokage knows the truth, it'll all work out.
And sorry about no fight this time, i know that with my writing style that if I do a fight every time it will get repetetive, like you said. The story will pick up pretty quickly though
P.S. can't wait for more of yours.